When was the
last time you failed at something? How
did you feel? What did you do next?
Think about
the three questions above after you have read this short blog. Why do we continue to put a negative emphasis
on failing? Nobody wants to fail. As your children go back to school, I would
like to tell you something that might sound completely out of the box. Give
them permission to fail.
As crazy as
this sounds, I think it is vitally important for the up-bringing of today's children. We all have heard of how
successful people failed before they became successful. What we learn through the process of failure
is far more important than the failed task itself. Failure does not have to be fatal. Instead I’ve seen this; which makes way more
sense.
F – First A – Attempt I – In L – Learning
Let it be
heard around the world that it is O.K.
to fail. With that said however; it is not O.K. to give up. Life is not completely peachy. Success is not automatic. You will fall down. What is important is that you get back up.
How many of
you suffered from test anxiety? How many
of you still do? What if we took the
pressure off? As we begin a new school
year, I have come up with a few tips that each of us can live by that will help
us do just that.
Students
Society is
filled with millions of pressures. You
don’t have to try to be somebody that you are not. It is O.K. to be yourself. You don’t have to be good at everything. Failing
at something is not the end of the world.
With that said; don’t give up. If
you believe in something and you have a dream, don’t let failure be the end
all. You can achieve and keep pushing
forward. Having the permission to fail
does not mean that you get to sit back and relax and do nothing the entire
school year. You must try. You must keep moving forward. You must bounce back and have a positive attitude.
Remember this if nothing else; failure
does not define you, it’s what you do after that does.
Parents
Help alleviate
some of the pressure your children are feeling.
Give them permission to fail.
This will lift much of the stress and anxiety that they may have built
up. Be there as a support for them when
they fail. Be there to high-five them
when they accomplish something. Do not
live your life through your child. Do
not put unrealistic expectations on your child.
Help your child by giving them tools that will help them along the
way. Let it be known to them that you
will love them if they fail, and you will love them when they succeed. Encourage your children at all times.
Teachers
Right now we
have things backwards. We have time as a
constant and learning is the variable.
These two things need to be switched around. Learning
needs to be constant and time the variable.
If a child fails a test or an assignment – allow them the opportunity to
do it again. If a child cannot show
mastery by taking a pencil-paper test, allow them to show mastery in other
ways. Also, rethink deadlines. What is
your ultimate goal with a project or assignment? Is it to meet a deadline or for the child to
master a skill? Allow your
students to be innovative. Allow them to
collaborate and communicate with each other. Finally, allow them to be creative. These
are the competencies that our children will need when they graduate.
Everyone
The permission
to fail does not just apply to our children.
Give yourself permission. By
doing so, you will feel more comfortable taking risks. Stepping outside of our comfort zones and
taking risks will help us realize our full potential. We have the ability to do amazing things. Just stop
fearing failure. Embrace it and fail forward. When adults take risks and fail, our children
will do the same. One step back and two
steps forward….you have heard it before.
Let’s live by it.
