The Purpose of Sport

I’ve participated in multiple sports.  I’ve played in many games.  I’ve been a spectator at thousands of sporting events.  I’ve coached a number of different sports.  I’ve read hundreds of sportsmanship articles.  I’ve never been more puzzled and appalled than I am now.

I feel compelled this evening to give my thoughts on the societal in-accurateness of the purpose of sport and activity.  To the fans applauding negative “on court” behavior in our high school gyms, to the pro sports teams exhibiting unsportsmanlike behaviors in front of millions of viewers – I’ve reached my limit.

My life revolved around sports.  I slept with a basketball and knocked off the popcorn finish on my ceiling just about every night.  I shot baskets until my fingers bled in negative degree temperatures.  I could name every major league baseball player on every team in the late 80’s and 90’s.  I idolized pro-athletes such as Michael Jordan, Ken Griffey Jr, Don Mattingly, and Joe Montana.  I wanted to be like Mike.

Unfortunately, my love for sport seems to be fading.  The cynical mindset that exists in many that “we must win at all costs,” “my child is better than yours,” “if you wrong me, you can bet I will wrong you back.”  We can think of many others. “the refs cost us that game,” “if only the coach would have played you,” “you just don’t have the right last name.”  I have a million more in my head, but you know them all already.  This is not healthy!  If you are at an event and these phrases are rolling through your mind – please leave.

The purpose of sport is to grow our character, not diminish it.  I don’t care who you are.  You can be the student athlete, pro athlete, parent, fan, etc.; people are watching you.  Yes, somebody is watching you.  Somebody admires you.  Kids are watching you.  They will practice what they see.

We need to change the picture.  Competition can yield the best of us, and it can certainly yield the worst of us.  I have first-hand knowledge of this from my coaching days.  I allowed it to bring out the worst in me.  We have got to allow competition to grow our character.  When we are able to embrace losing, forgive the enemy, and brush the chip off our shoulder we will then be back on the road to healthy sport.

I would like to send a shout-out to those that sparked this blog post.  To the pro athletes and teams who let negative behavior cost them the game – you got it wrong.  To the fans everywhere that demean refs and applaud negative behavior at our nation’s high school sporting events – you continue to get it wrong.  To athletes and their parents that are out there for personal glory – you are getting it wrong as well.

To the Minnesota Vikings coaches and players – you got it right.  You failed forward and embraced one of your own with love and support after a missed field goal.  You may have lost the game of football, but you won in the game of life.  You showed to millions of fans that in the mist of all the glory that surrounds athletes and big games we are all still human.  Thank you for growing the character of millions of young athletes.  Also, thank you to the many others that do practice good sportsmanship on a daily basis.  My hope is that people will start seeing the positive over the negative and become stewards of the cause.

Please let this be a “check yourself” moment.  There is more to life than winning.  Having anxiety as a parent/athlete/spectator is not healthy.  Two wrongs, never make a right.  When you have one wrong and a right follows…the right always trumps the wrong.

Let’s get things right again.

Educator's Guide to A Successful New Year

We all do it don’t we?  This is the time of year that we reflect on the past year and we look forward with great anticipation for the year ahead.  We get to start over.  We become change agents for our own lives.  There is definitely something special about this time of year that gives us a renewed sense of hope and inspiration.

This is especially true in the education world.  The holiday break gives educators the chance to reflect, recharge, refocus, and renew.  As we head into a new year, I’d like to offer a few tips that can maximize the learning environments of our schools.  Some of these are tested, tried, and true; while others may simply be my imagination running wild with optimism for better schools and a better world.

Let time be irrelevant

We need to stop putting a time limit on learning.  What if Thomas Edison was given a deadline for the light bulb?  If we truly want to individualize the learning process for our children, “time” cannot be a major variable.   Focus instead on mastering skills.  When one skill is mastered move on to the next.  Allow the students to own the learning process.  Imagine for a second a school with no bells.  Subjects such as science, math, language arts, and electives are all integrated.  Students use the skills in each of those areas to solve real-world and relevant problems.  The focus and assessments shift to the process and not so much fixated on an end result.  Sounds a lot like growth mindset doesn’t it?

Focus on the C’s

You have heard of the four C’s.  Creativity, collaboration, critical thinking, and communication are the four competencies that many educators believe are the gateway to producing a College and Career Ready student.  I couldn’t agree more with this.  The world in which we live now is such that new jobs are being invented every single day.  Our students in elementary will likely take jobs that have not been invented yet.  Even though these jobs might be a blur to us now, I can certainly guarantee that the competencies listed above will be a requirement for success.  Our schools need to allow children to excel in these areas. 

I would also challenge schools to expand on the four C’s.   With an ever changing world, we need to really hit on things such as character, confidence, compassion, and caring.  We need to show students that they can make a difference in the world.  We need to let them know that failure is okay, and give them the confidence to take risks and step outside their comfort zones.  We need to engage in conversation with our students and let them know that we genuinely care for each of them.  This is called relationship building and it’s the number one thing that an educator can do to ensure learning is taking place.

Want a safe and secure school?

If you want to keep your school safe, it does not start with arming educators or installing metal detectors at all doors.  It starts by showing a genuine care and understanding for every single person in the building.  Connect with each child.  Let them know that you care about them and their well-being.  As a matter of fact, this should be expanded beyond the walls of the school.  What if we all were just a little bit nicer to others?  What if we all extended a genuine care to every individual that crossed our path in a day?  We can make society better simply by acting better.

Will this end all violence?  Absolutely not, but it should make a difference.  The next step to this is to raise awareness for mental illnesses.  We need to treat mental illness with the same magnitude that we do for other diseases such as cancer and dementia (to name a couple).

Desire it

My final tip for a successful new year revolves around the word desire. We don’t talk about this word too often, but it’s simply the fuel that keeps us going, or the lack thereof that keeps us in one place.  We must desire to get better in every facet of life.  We must continue to learn each and every day.  We need to fail a few times, and desire to get back at it and do better.  As educators we must desire to be better at our jobs.  We must have desire for every one of our students to succeed.  Administrators must have the desire to see each of his/her teachers flourish.  We have to find that spark of desire and ignite it.  If you do this 2016 can burn with hope and inspiration and a desire to change the world will exist within you.

Pretty simple right?  There is nothing really fancy to it all.   It’s a mindset change.  Pull the oxygen mask over your face first.  Take a couple of deep breaths and then improve the lives around you.   

I want to wish every one near and far a Happy New Year.  May 2016 bring each of you joy and happiness, and may that joy and happiness be contagious to all of those you come in contact with.

The Real Me.

“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” John Lubbock

We often confine ourselves to see only what our eyes reflect.  Case and point, this afternoon as my two-year old daughter and I were carting our way through the grocery store,  my precious little girl pointed at a man and said “I don’t like that guy daddy; he’s scary.”   I was quite taken back by this and decided we had reached a teachable moment in her life.  We had a very quick conversation on how we don’t judge people by how they look.

    

I get it and I certainly realize that she is just two years old, but I don’t care how old you are; we have all done it.  We have all thought it to ourselves.  We have all judged a book by its cover.  What causes us to see only what the eye reflects?  Why can’t we train ourselves to see with our hearts?

What do you see when you look at me?  Actually, don’t answer that right now : ).   Allow me once to give you a look see at who I really am, and maybe not what your eyes reflect.  First of all, most of you probably see me as a professional, a superintendent.  Possibly a motivator, and inspirationalist, somebody that appears to have life in order.  Maybe you see me as a loving father and amazing husband.  This is what your eyes might reflect.

The reflection you see is just an ounce of me.   Just like everyone else, I struggle with many things.  I’m not a perfect dad or a perfect husband.  Often times, I consume myself with so much of my work that my family has to take a back seat.   Because I’m able to hold my patience in at school, I often let it out at home.  When it comes to parenting and being a loving husband I have lots of work to do.  On the positive side of this though sometimes in order to get where we want to get, we need to first realize where we are at.

   

But the type of husband and the kind of parent I am is just an ounce of me.  As a child going through school I was bullied.  I was emotionally and physically abused.  My looks were far from perfect.  In fact I was as skinny as a toothpick and people had fun at my expense.   The thing that I was able to fall back on and find comfort in was basketball.  Actually, basketball got me through my school years.

Also as a student and throughout life for that matter I have struggled with anxiety.  I worry constantly.  I worry about money, weight, family, etc.  I worry about it all.  It has to be hereditary and I’m sorry mom, but I have to blame you : ).

 

My student life and anxiety are just fractions of who I am.  I could continue to give you a glimpse into my life, but now your eyes are not just reflecting a physical presence.  Hopefully you are starting to see with your heart.  What if we trained ourselves to see with our hearts and not just our eyes?  You can be a blog writer and write inspirational posts but struggle on a personal level to practice what you preach.  You could be a super-model, but worry about your looks.  You could be a millionaire, but worry about money.  You could be smart, but worry about your grades.  We could go on and on here.

As we head into the Christmas Holiday, I challenge each of you to open your hearts and not just your eyes.  Every single one of us is fighting some battle.  I don’t care how much money someone has or doesn’t have.  I don’t care what a person looks like, how many kids they have, and the kind of car they drive.  I don’t care what job a person has.  We all are fighting battles inside us.  If we open our hearts and not just our eyes we might be able to help somebody through them.

A specific challenge to educators.  See not with just your eyes, but also your hearts.  Every child is worth your heart's reflection.  What we see with our eyes can blind us from reality, but what we see with our hearts reflects the truth.  A straight “A” student with fancy clothes and a nice ride, might just be the student that needs you the most.  Open your heart this holiday season.

As for you.  It is okay to be you.  It is okay to struggle.  You are not alone.  The people you perceive as perfect are actually quite imperfect.  Concentrate on being the best you.  Even though you are struggling, you can bounce back from it.  You have the ability to change the world.  You have the ability to transform yourself from ordinary to extraordinary.  Here is a poem for you.  I’m not a poet.  But as long as I’ve given you a glimpse at the real me, I might as well just throw myself out there a bit more.

The Best Me

They want me to be what they see

But that isn’t the way I ought to be.

They call me names and pick on me

But that isn’t the way it ought to be.

I never get picked by he or she

But that isn’t the way it ought to be.

I’ll never be perfect you see

And that is perfectly fine with me.

I’ll just be the best me

And that’s the way I ought to be.

The Solution

To finish last week’s wonderful world of work, I engaged in our state conference on education for administrators.  It’s always a fabulous few days of enlightenment and connectivity.  It’s the conference that I most look forward to.  Not only does our state organization (North Dakota Council of Educational Leaders) put on a great conference, but the conference gives us a chance to collaborate and communicate commonalities and differences that exist in our schools.  We talk about all sorts of positives and problems that exist in our local schools.  We try to be proactive and solution based as we think about the critical components of educating all children.

We truly do have the best interest of every student at the forefront of our minds.  It’s amazing to see over 400 people sitting in a room, knowing that each of us has the desire to not only improve student learning, but to make a profound difference in the youth of our nation. North Dakota you are truly blessed to have the individuals that you do representing your children.

Throughout the course of the conference we will talk about topics that include curriculum development, school safety and security, classroom management, blended learning, data analysis, formative and summative assessment, school improvement and much more.  Not to discredit the solutions and action plans that come from these topics, but I often walk away thinking we missed a critical component.  Whether it is enhancing school safety or increasing student achievement I feel one characteristic that certainly covers all others tends to be on everyone’s mind, but often taken for granted as a viable solution.

You see, I honestly believe that the best security and safety measure that a school can take is building relationships of trust and care with students.  We can put in metal detectors, arm school personnel with guns, and put buzzer systems on our doors, but I feel that these are all reactionary solutions.  What if we started from an entirely different angle?  What if we start by building positive relationships with our students…every student?  If we can show them that we care, if we can show them that they matter, if we can show them that their dreams can become reality and their nightmares a falsity then we will instill hope in them.  Hope gives us all a purpose.  Hope inspires.  What if we inspire our students on the forefront?  What if instead of being reactionary we put all of our efforts into being proactive?  How would this change things?

No doubt, we cannot minimize the importance of school safety.  If children feel safe and secure then they will be more apt to learn.  But I can’t help think a little inspiration could be a fix to the list of all the topics above.  If we recognize the uniqueness of each individual and celebrate that each and every day, I can guarantee that our students will do better in school.  We will see test scores rise.  You will see less violence in school.  Our data would indicate schools are achieving at high levels.

I’ve done zero formal research, but I can tell you that I perform better when I’m being praised.  I perform better when I know people care about me.  I perform better when I’m allowed to be creative.  Simply, I perform better when I’m inspired.  I feel a sense of worth.  I believe I can contribute.  I daydream about possibilities and I want others to feel the same way.

I do think that we take this for granted.  I believe as educators we believe that we are already doing this, and therefor tend to talk about “surface solutions” (I like to call them), rather than digging deeper into the social and emotional well-being of our students.

As we walk away from our conferences let’s make sure that first and foremost our job as educators is to inspire children.  Let this be task number one.  If we can do this effectively tasks number two, three, four, and so on will be much easier to accomplish.

Thank you North Dakota educators and NDCEL for doing what you do.  It is because of your encouragement, advice, and inspiration that I’m ready to enter another wonderful week of work and have many more fabulous days ahead of me. 

   

He Provides

“If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23 NKJV

Last Wednesday night my two boys hugged their grandpa as we were leaving their cousins house.  It’s been a regular routine for them – they hug their papa and grandma when we leave their presence.  But, little did my kids know the hug they shared could have possibly been their last.  Their papa was about to have risky surgery the next day to remove his cancer.

Their papa is an incredible man.  Not only is he a great grandpa to my kids, but he’s the father-in-law that you could only dream of having.  He has lived a life of service, and will always put himself second to everyone else and their needs.  He’s a farmer.  Like all farmers – they work their tails off for the benefit of everyone else.  They put countless hours of work in so that households across the world will have food on their plates.  Really when I think of Jim Kjos (Papa) – the phrase that continues to pop into my mind is “he provides.”

Without a doubt he provides.  He provides support.  He provides love.  He provides an inspiration that is contagious, and let me tell you – he has inspired my two little boys beyond belief.

 

This past summer he was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Doctors gave him two to five years to live and told him that his cancer was not operational.  He began to undergo chemo treatments and did so for many months.  It must be noted that these chemo treatments came during the peak farming period but they didn’t stop him.  He provided when his body told him not to.  He rolled out of bed when it would have been much easier to fall back asleep.  When his body was telling him to NOT give another inch, he gave a mile.

About a month ago he was given the option by a second doctor to undergo surgery to try and remove most of the cancer.  He was told that without the surgery he would have months to live.  The surgery was going to be risky; a 50% chance of survival.  Without a blink of an eye and caution being tossed at him from all around – he decided to undergo the surgery.  A surgery that would last 10-12 hours.

The prayer chain that had started back when he was first diagnosed began to grow much larger and stronger.  People that didn’t even know him prayed for him day after day after day.  The Shiloh community that I’m a part of lifted him up in prayer each and every day.  My family and I prayed for papa every night before we went to bed.

We prayed even harder the day of the surgery.  Anticipation and nervousness surrounded the family as we waited to hear the first report from the doctor.  Shortly after 9 am – we received the first report.  The doctor told the family that the cancer was not as bad as they had first thought.  Each report after for the next 10 hours was better and better.  Finally just before the surgery was complete the doctor visited the family and told us that he believed to have extracted all of the cancer.  Not only that, he believed that papa has a very good chance to beat this cancer all together.

The power of prayer is amazing.  God provides support.  He provides love, and he continues to provide us inspiration.  He tells us to cast all of our worries on him.  As the verse at the top of this blog post states “if you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”  Really when I think of God – the phrase that continues to pop into my mind is “he provides.”

“Cast your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 NIV

God does care for you.  We all have stories that are similar to the one above.  Each day we deal with pressure and anxiety.  We have loved ones that are sick and we have loved ones that we have lost.  Throw your worries to the lord and trust in his will.

“I will answer your cry for help every time you pray, and you will find and feel my presence even in your time of pressure and trouble.  I will be your glorious Hero and give you a feast!” Psalm 91:15 TPT

I appreciate that God continues to give me a feast.  I also appreciate that papa will also be able to continue his work and give everyone a feast.  Please continue the prayers for this amazing man.  He has many more great things to offer to this world and certainly has many more hugs to offer my children.  He is not out of the woods but he has certainly cut down many of the trees with his bare hands.  His recovery could take longer and his cancer may come back, but round 1 goes to papa.  

Papa and Grandma with all the grandkids.

Random Act

“Your child will follow your example, not your advice.”

-Unknown

I saw this quote and I immediately thought of a funny story.  Two Sundays ago, as I was sitting on the sidelines watching my seven year old play flag football, I began to notice that the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree.  You see, Tayten is the type of kid that thinks he knows it all, but he fails to pay attention to what is being told to him.   He got a short two minute break and came over to me for a drink of PowerAde, and I said to him.  “When you are playing receiver, do not run so deep that the quarterback can’t throw you the ball.” 

The very next play he is in as wide receiver and you could almost guess what he does.  He runs 25 yards down field, doesn’t get a pass and gets frustrated.  I quickly reminded his mother (the tree) what she has created. J

Fast forward to this morning as we are both standing in front of the school greeting students and parents as they come in.  He has seen me open the door, say good morning, and greet people for a few months now.   We have two sets of doors that one must walk through in the morning.  I notice that he has now taken it upon himself to open the second set of doors, say good morning, and greet people as they walk in.

Two totally different circumstances, but both relevant to the quote above.  I laughed when I read the quote because it’s the absolute truth.  My child will follow my actions more than he will follow my words.

What a great reminder for us all.  I’ve said it before, but if we think better and do better, the world in which we live will ultimately be better.  In my position as Superintendent, people tend to ask me how it feels to be a boss.  The question frustrates me because I couldn’t be further from being a boss.  I’m a leader.  You are a leader.  We are all leaders.  Great leaders talk less and listen more.  They encourage and empower others.  Great leaders lead by example.

What example are you setting?  Whether you are a student, parent, teacher, business leader, or human for that matter, please reflect on your example.  I would like to start a simple challenge and hope that it can spread all over the world.  I’m a Social Media guy - so this will be the vehicle.  I absolutely love the power it has to connect individuals and deliver professional development opportunities at our finger tips.

Here is the challenge.

1. If you don’t have a Twitter or Facebook account get one.
2. Every day for the next 5 days do one random act of kindness.  It can be anything from complimenting somebody to opening a door, etc.  Just one random act.
3. Share what you did by writing the hash tag #SCRandomAct at the end of your post.
4. No need to share names, just share the act.
5. I’ve started it for you and my random act can be found by looking up the hashtag on Twitter.

Please don’t let this die.  Could you imagine a world in which each and every one of us makes it a point to carry out one random act of kindness each day for the next five days? Ten days? Lifetime?  When you help others you help yourself.  It’s fun and simple and we can start making a difference.  Are you with me?  Share this with others and inspire them to do the same.  One random act for the next five days – Go.

Permission to Fail

When was the last time you failed at something?  How did you feel?  What did you do next?

Think about the three questions above after you have read this short blog.  Why do we continue to put a negative emphasis on failing?  Nobody wants to fail.  As your children go back to school, I would like to tell you something that might sound completely out of the box.  Give them permission to fail.

As crazy as this sounds, I think it is vitally important for the up-bringing of today's children.  We all have heard of how successful people failed before they became successful.  What we learn through the process of failure is far more important than the failed task itself.  Failure does not have to be fatal.  Instead I’ve seen this; which makes way more sense.

F – First     A – Attempt   I – In    L – Learning

Let it be heard around the world that it is O.K. to fail.  With that said however; it is not O.K. to give up.  Life is not completely peachy.  Success is not automatic.  You will fall down.  What is important is that you get back up.

How many of you suffered from test anxiety?  How many of you still do?  What if we took the pressure off?  As we begin a new school year, I have come up with a few tips that each of us can live by that will help us do just that.

Students

Society is filled with millions of pressures.  You don’t have to try to be somebody that you are not.  It is O.K. to be yourself.   You don’t have to be good at everything.  Failing at something is not the end of the world.  With that said; don’t give up.  If you believe in something and you have a dream, don’t let failure be the end all.  You can achieve and keep pushing forward.  Having the permission to fail does not mean that you get to sit back and relax and do nothing the entire school year.  You must try.  You must keep moving forward.  You must bounce back and have a positive attitude. Remember this if nothing else;  failure does not define you, it’s what you do after that does.

Parents

Help alleviate some of the pressure your children are feeling.  Give them permission to fail.  This will lift much of the stress and anxiety that they may have built up.  Be there as a support for them when they fail.  Be there to high-five them when they accomplish something.   Do not live your life through your child.  Do not put unrealistic expectations on your child.  Help your child by giving them tools that will help them along the way.  Let it be known to them that you will love them if they fail, and you will love them when they succeed.  Encourage your children at all times.

Teachers

Right now we have things backwards.  We have time as a constant and learning is the variable.  These two things need to be switched around.  Learning needs to be constant and time the variable.  If a child fails a test or an assignment – allow them the opportunity to do it again.  If a child cannot show mastery by taking a pencil-paper test, allow them to show mastery in other ways.  Also, rethink deadlines.  What is your ultimate goal with a project or assignment?  Is it to meet a deadline or for the child to master a skill?  Allow your students to be innovative.  Allow them to collaborate and communicate with each other.  Finally, allow them to be creative.  These are the competencies that our children will need when they graduate.

Everyone

The permission to fail does not just apply to our children.  Give yourself permission.  By doing so, you will feel more comfortable taking risks.  Stepping outside of our comfort zones and taking risks will help us realize our full potential.  We have the ability to do amazing things.  Just stop fearing failure.  Embrace it and fail forward.  When adults take risks and fail, our children will do the same.  One step back and two steps forward….you have heard it before.  Let’s live by it.